When Allies Attack – Afghan Soldier Kills US General.

snafghan

On Fox News, we read:

A man in an Afghan Army uniform opened fire Tuesday at a military base, killing a U.S. general and wounding 15 people, among them a German brigadier general and a number of Americans troops.

U.S. officials identified the murdered American late Tuesday as Maj. Gen. Harold Greene. Greene was the highest-ranked American officer killed in combat since 1970 in the Vietnam War.

Another 15 people, roughly half of them Americans, were wounded. Among the wounded were a German brigadier general, two Afghan generals and an Afghan officer, whose rank the Afghan Defense Ministry did not provide.

The attack occurred during a site visit to the university by coalition members.

Ministry spokesman Gen. Mohammad Zahir Azimi said a “terrorist in an army uniform” opened fire on both local and international troops.

The terminology usually used to describe these attacks is interesting. Allow me to demonstrate the interaction between my brain and the report itself, in titillating dialogue format:

Report: “A man in an Afghan Army uniform opened fire on a group of soldiers, killing a US general and wounding others.”

Myself: “Well duh. Of course he was in an Afghan uniform. He was an Afghan Army soldier.”

Report: “No no, he wasn’t an Afghan Soldier. He was just wearing the uniform.”

Myself: “What are you talking about?”

Report: “He was a terrorist in an Afghan uniform.”

Myself: “You mean he wasn’t actually in the Afghan Army? He infiltrated the base from the outside?”

Report: “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

Myself: “In the past, these insider-attack killers have been legitimate uniformed members of the Afghan Army. So I think it’s safe to assume that this newest attacker may have been also.”

Report: “Oh, but he wasn’t though. He was just a terrorist in the uniform.”

Myself: “I’m confused. Did this guy go through Afghan Army training?”

Report: “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

Myself: “We can guess that he did, and it’s probably not off the mark. Was he authorized to be on the base?”

Report: “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

Myself: “I think we can presume that he was. So if he received Afghan Army training, and he was authorized to be on the base, doesn’t that make him a member of the Afghan Army?”

Report: “No. He was a terrorist in an Afghan Army uniform.”

Myself: “Obviously, we’re having a failure to communicate. If an Afghani goes through Afghan military training, and is authorized to be on the base, does that make them a member of the Afghan military?”

Report: “I suppose it does.”

Myself: “And this killer was trained by the Afghan military, and was authorized to be on the base?”

Report: “I can neither confirm nor deny that… but he might have been.”

Myself: “So he was an Afghan Army solider.”

Report: “No, he was a terrorist in an Afghan uniform. What part of this don’t you understand?”

Myself: “I should be asking you the same question. Why wouldn’t the killer just be called ‘An Afghan Soldier’?”

Report: “Because he wasn’t a uniformed Afghan soldier. He was a terrorist in an Afghan uniform.”

Myself: “At the risk of sounding insensitive, what’s the difference? He was both, apparently.”

Report: “No, Afghan soldiers don’t turn their guns on their American allies. Only secret terrorists do that.”

Myself: “So let me get this straight: You’re saying that it’s impossible for an Afghan soldier to kill Americans.”

Report: “Right.”

Myself: “And if they do choose to kill their American allies, then they aren’t Afghan soldiers; they’re just terrorists wearing the uniform.”

Report: “Right.”

Myself: “That logic seems faulty, somehow.”

Report: “That’s subjective.”

Myself: “The differential between a uniformed Afghan solider and a terrorist in an Afghan uniform seems pretty weak, doesn’t it?”

Report: “Eh, maybe. Stop being so difficult.”

Myself: “Let me take a guess at something. Do you insist on calling the perpetrators of insider attacks “terrorists in Afghans uniforms” because you don’t want to publicly acknowledge the fact that the US military cannot actually trust the very ‘allies’ that our government has spent billions of dollars, 12 years, and nearly 3,000 lives on arming and propping up? That would be kind of damning, wouldn’t it?”

Report: “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

Myself: “Of course, you can’t.”

Report: “…”

Myself: “To hell with it. What’s Justin Bieber up to these days?”

Report: “Ah, I’m glad you asked! He was last spotted in Mexico City with a new tattoo….”

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